The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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