I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
