Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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