Everything about him screamed your future.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
