You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
