We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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