real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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