What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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