God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
