in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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