I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
