I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
