i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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