Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
