went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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