A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
