the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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