Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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