There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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