did you get engaged???
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
