He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
