I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
