Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
