so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just want nice things and good sex
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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