Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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