Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
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