Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
