I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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