what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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