i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
