Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
