ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize