You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
