This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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