i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
