and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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