We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
