Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
