I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
your like the ambassador to my penis.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
