The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
