i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
