dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize