He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
