I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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