everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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