You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Someone came in the potted fern
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
