There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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