My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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