is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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