I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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