Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
