and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so let's talk penis.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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