totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
