He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He passed out mid-signature
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
