Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
