The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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