She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
